The latest.

Once again I come back to this blog. Once again feeling like I need to preface a post with "wow its been a while" etc.

Obviously it HAS been a while. But this time I won't state intentions. I'll just jump right in.

Last time I posted, I was still greatly grieving over my dad's death. I realize now that the empty feeling will never go away. Losing a parent is like learning to live with a giant hole in your Self. You get used to it after a while but you always feel the hole.

Where did I leave off before that? I don't even know, so I'll just create a bulleted list and catch you up to speed:

• Xander is 10 1/2 and in 5th grade. This is his last year of elementary school. The other day I looked back and read through this blog and just wanted to bawl my eyes out. I am so glad I documented the things I did.
• Dax is 7 and in second grade. Same thing ..... I see the posts of him being a momma's boy, my clingy, blonde haired little babe and it kills me. I obviously had been told how fast the the years would go, I typed it often! But like any mother of littles ones, I really had no clue.
• The boys are the same people they've always been, but they get more awesome and fun and smart every day. Xander is the typical firstborn who aims to please and Dax is the noisy maniac. They are my whole world and I thank God every day that they exist and are OURS.
• I reached a longtime goal in September of 2014. Both boys were in school all day for the first time so I signed up to regular pioneer. I can honestly say it was the most wonderful, fulfilling year of my entire life.
• But after first grade turned out to be a total nightmare for Dax, we decided I would homeschool him. It is not a 100% parent-taught thing. I am not motivated or organized enough for that (yet .. I am learning to never say never!). This is the program we are doing. I highly recommend it.
• I struggle every day with missing pioneering while at the same time seeing the perks of homeschooling. It really was the best decision at the time for Dax and I am so grateful for this time to spend with him. We are going to play this whole school thing by ear. If Dax wants to go back to normal school next year, he will. Honestly I don't really see that happening but again, never say never. Xander will be homeschooling next year and if they both do this program I will have them home alternating days which will be nice.
• My personal goal is to pioneer again as soon as humanly possible. But my boys come first. They are my most important "bible students" and I do not want to fail them.
• This past summer we were privileged to spend a week in Utah serving in seldom-worked territory. (For you non-JW's, click here to see the importance of our ministry, especially reaching those who don't hear the word often.) It was THE BEST vacation ever.
• Juston quit his job in April. It was fairly stressful, but I can honestly say that him quitting was the best decision for our family. We all feel much more happy and content. We were able to do our seldom-worked territory trip, and before that Juston gave his first public talk. We have SO MUCH more time as a family and we definitely feel like our most important needs are being met. Juston is working on getting another business off the ground but he is determined that work will never reach the level it did before.
• As far as the rest of life goes, you can keep up with our nonsense on Instagram. Find us at @ mrs.poodie. We have a new kitten, and the same old bearded dragon (we love Beans!!) that has been around for a few years now. And we are getting ready to undertake some house projects  .. obviously they will happen as money starts coming in, ha! We constantly talk about how our home and this life IS TEMPORARY and no matter what our reasons are for wanting to remodel and/or move (hospitality being the number one), our house suits its purpose just fine and we need to keep in focus what is truly important. Being content is a constant struggle.
• Since going off the pioneer list I have struggled daily with zeal, joy, and motivation. But its all gonna be OK. This is the first time in my 36 years of life that I have related to the Widow's Mite. I realize it now ... we all go through ups and downs in our service to God. And He doesn't judge us for what we do. We do our best and He knows it.

I have always wanted to blog as a job. Honestly, in the past nearly 11 years of being a stay at home mom, I have started and deleted (or at least let flounder) many different blogs. I keep feeling like I need to fit into a certain genre. I think I realize now that I don't. I just like documenting our life. And if people happen to read it, that's great. And if not, at least I have an online scrapbook of what we did and what our life was like raising these two, beautiful, special boys.

If I get my way, someday this blog will be a place to document our travels and ministry as we go and expend ourselves outside of this country. Only time will tell! Pray for us! :)